Three fucking brilliant films today, which really riles me. I hate having to give nice reviews.
SKELETONS (UK)
This is a well funny film. Basically it’s about these two guys right, and there go around people’s houses and flush out the skeletons in their closets forever so that they can get on with life without worrying that those bony Victoria Beckhams are gonna creep up on them.
I wish I could hire them to flush mine away, but it would probably take a week!
Highs
It touched my winkles with a feathery pancake.
Lows
There was no fit men in it.
WINTER’S BONE (US)
This is about this girl who lives in a skanky trailer with her cunty spastic mum who won’t do any housework. The girl also looks after her two young siblings. Then it all gets all hardcore because her Dad is missing and if he don’t turn up to the police station then they is gonna take their land and trailer and the kids will have to go on the games and the mum will have to go into care.
It’s gripping and rough as fuck.
Highs
There’s a really sick bit in it – it’s so fucked up it's totally wicked!
Lows
No funny lines or romantic moments.
DONKEYS (UK)
This film has Kate Dickie in it and guess what? She gets her lily white baps out again.
This is like well funny. I’m amazed that they could make such a funny film about a Dad dieing of cancer. It covers everything: old age, loneliness, grief, incest, astrophysics and forgiveness.
Highs
I laughed so much I dribbled on the person next to me but he didn’t mind.
Lows
I cried so much I nuzzled the person next to me and he got a stiffy so his wife stropped off. I can’t help being fit!
PARTY TIME: The Runaways Party
So yay I got put on the guest list for the 'Runaways' party. Yet again, I could not be buggered to see the film.
Some fat bird comes up to me, so I says "this is great innit, free champagne and I never even saw the cunty film", she just stared at me funny so I says "so what you up here for are you a reviewer as well?" and she says "no I'm the producer". Oh dear massive whoops!
There were loads of men there so I got chatted up mostly. I had loads of champers then the bar only goes and runs out dunnit. So I showed my boobies to this Welshmen and he got me another champagne. Aren't Welsh people cool! I was proper bladdered by the time I got back to my room so I ate 8 crabsticks and a Pot Noodle.
Barbarella x
PARTY TIME: The Runaways Party
So yay I got put on the guest list for the 'Runaways' party. Yet again, I could not be buggered to see the film.
Some fat bird comes up to me, so I says "this is great innit, free champagne and I never even saw the cunty film", she just stared at me funny so I says "so what you up here for are you a reviewer as well?" and she says "no I'm the producer". Oh dear massive whoops!
There were loads of men there so I got chatted up mostly. I had loads of champers then the bar only goes and runs out dunnit. So I showed my boobies to this Welshmen and he got me another champagne. Aren't Welsh people cool! I was proper bladdered by the time I got back to my room so I ate 8 crabsticks and a Pot Noodle.
Barbarella x
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